I Made It And Then Panicked

You wrapped it on Tuesday.

Then on Wednesday you unwrapped it, because you wanted to look at it again with fresh eyes, and the fresh eyes said what fresh eyes always say at that hour.

You wrapped it again. And then on Friday you did the whole thing once more.

And the sentence going round in you the entire time has not changed once. It is going to look like I did not want to spend anything.

That is the actual fear and it is worth saying plainly. Not that it is badly made. Not that it will not suit. That the making itself will be read as a substitute, and that everybody in the room will do the arithmetic in about half a second and be kind about it.

There is a verse in Exodus about women making things with their hands, and what is remarkable about it is what is missing.

All the women that were wise hearted

Here it is.

And all the women that were wise hearted did spin with their hands, and brought that which they had spun, both of blue, and of purple, and of scarlet, and of fine linen. (Exodus 35:25, King James Version)

Wise hearted. That is the description attached to the women who made things, and it is not a consolation prize.

It is the same phrase used elsewhere in that passage for the master craftsmen. The making is treated as wisdom rather than as effort standing in for something else.

You have been reading your own hands as a substitute, and Exodus 35:25 calls the women who made things wise hearted rather than resourceful. The Holy Spirit is the one who chose that description, and He chose the word He used for the best of them.

Now look at what is not in the verse, because the absence is the loudest part of it.

There is no comparison. Nothing about what these women would have brought if they had had more. No note explaining that spun cloth was what was available to them.

The account records what they made and what colors it was, and then moves on to the next group of people.

You are being recorded rather than explained, and it is written that they brought that which they had spun rather than that they brought it in place of something. The Spirit of God is the one who left the comparison out, and He left it out because there was never one to make.

And then the detail about the colors, which is the part that tells you what these things actually were.

Blue, and purple, and scarlet, and fine linen. Those are the most valuable materials in the whole account. That is not what a person reaches for when they are making do.

You have been assuming the made thing sits at the bottom, and the written word lists the colors of the sanctuary rather than the colors of the leftovers. The Holy Spirit is the one who recorded what was in their hands, and it was the best material there was.

What the wrapping and unwrapping is

Now let me name what has been happening on Tuesday and Wednesday and Friday, because it is not indecision.

Each opening is a check on whether it will survive an inspection that nobody has scheduled.

Each time you unwrap it you are standing outside yourself, looking at it the way you imagine a particular person will look at it, and running their half second for them in advance.

You have been conducting somebody else's inspection on their behalf, and it is written that the women brought what they had spun rather than that they submitted it for review. The Spirit of God is the one who ends an inspection nobody called for, and He ends it by pointing out who scheduled it.

And here is what you are actually afraid of, which is smaller and more human than the version in your head.

Not that it is bad. It is not bad and that much is settled. Four times it has come out of the paper, and every time there were a few seconds of being quietly pleased with it before the other voice arrived.

The fear is that the hours will not count. That what a person really gives is the outlay, and hours are invisible, and invisible things do not register.

You have hours that cannot be seen and are therefore not being counted, and His word records the spinning as the offering rather than as the preparation for one. The Holy Spirit is the one who counts what nobody can see, and He has been counting since Tuesday.

And one plain thing about the room.

Nobody in that room is doing arithmetic. That half second you have been rehearsing belongs to you and not to them, and it has been running four times a week in one head only.

You are the only person in this who has been calculating, and it is written that they brought it and it was received rather than assessed. The Spirit of God is the one who knows what a room is actually thinking, and it is thinking about the next thing.

Hand it over without a word

So here is what to do, and every part of it is a subtraction.

Wrap it once more and then do not open it again. Not to check. Not with fresh eyes. Once, and then it stays wrapped.

You are able to stop inspecting it, and Exodus 35:25 has the women bring what they had spun rather than review it first. The Holy Spirit is the one who makes a decision like that hold for four days, and four days is all that is left.

And then hand it over and say nothing at all about the making.

Not I made it, which is fine but usually arrives as a warning. Not it did not take long, which is a lie and would be the only lie in the room. Not I hope it is alright.

Say their name. That is the whole script.

You have a name to say and nothing else required, and it is written that they brought that which they had spun with no speech recorded anywhere. The Spirit of God is the one who takes an explanation out of a woman's mouth at the exact second it wants to come out.

And here is why the silence matters more than anything else in this.

An explanation about the making tells the room what to think about the making. Left alone, a handmade thing is a thing somebody made and nothing else. Introduced with an apology, it becomes a thing that needed introducing, and everybody adjusts accordingly.

You are protecting it by saying nothing, and Scripture records the bringing without one word of commentary from anybody. The Holy Spirit is the one who carries a made thing across a room, and it does not need a word from you to get there.

And when it is opened, do not watch for the reaction.

Look at the person rather than at their face. Those are two different activities and only one of them is reading a verdict.

You are able to look at somebody without reading them, and it is written that the women brought and the account moves on rather than lingering on how it landed. The Spirit of God is the one who is in that room, and He has never once been assessing what anybody brought.